I am a big Ted Lasso fan. I didn't want to be at first, I thought it was going to be a goofy sports based show. I could not have been more wrong and found myself laughing harder than I had in a long while. Over the last few months I have been reminded of this episode where Roy Kent gives an example of not knowing what is going on each other's lives.
[...] And none of us know what is going on in each other's lives. So for Isaac to do what he did today, even though it was wrong... I give him love. And as for why he did what he did... that's none of my f?cking business. [...]
If you don't know this one, please check out the link above with this scene. It's a great story.
Recently I found myself thinking about this - we don't know what is going on in each other's lives. I think the way this manifests is when observing another's behavior we fill in their story with our own story about what must be going on for that person. Like most stories, we tend to create them from our past experiences; many times assuming the worst.
I bet you have created a story to explain someone else's behavior; parents, colleagues, friends, direct reports, strangers. And how many times was the story a "negative" one? As much as I try not to, I know I have. This is where another Ted Lasso lesson pops for me. When Ted is playing darts with Rupert (Mannion not Giles) and shares "Be curios, not judgmental" as part of a story he is relating. My experience is that my stories are often close my judgement and therefore short circuit my curiosity. It's just about treating others as people, with respect and compassion. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't hold them accountable. But it may change the way you hold them accountable or whether you hold them accountable at all.
I like to write these down as something for myself to continue to be mindful of as opposed to expecting anyone else to benefit from them. If you do, then great, love that.
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