Is Doing the Right Thing - Right?

For most of this year (the last nine months), I have been pondering whether doing the right thing is right. Let me clarify. For me, doing the right thing in the context of honesty or integrity - is ALWAYS the right thing. Is doing what I feel is the right thing to do - the right thing? I have been noodling on specific circumstances that have me questioning whether I did the right thing based on how they turned out. 

There were two circumstances where I put others' needs ahead of my own, and it didn't work out. It is not nearly as noble as when Spock sacrificed himself in Wrath of Khan, but it is my little drama. The binary part of me looks at these situations and sees the only alternative as never putting others first and looking out only for myself. Even writing that down makes me grimace, as it goes against my core beliefs. So, the answer must be in the vast gray area between what I did and doing nothing. In the classic answer for all questions, it depends.

Regarding the two circumstances I have been pondering, the others were not in their integrity, making that the easier thing to focus on. I put others (people, projects, etc.) first and myself second, and it didn't work out as I had hoped. As I healed from that, I was able to begin considering where my learning was. Even if it's a one-off, I won't trust that person in the future.

I have been thinking about reciprocity in this context; doing something for others (entities or people) without expecting what I may get in return. Being a manager/leader is being in service. The thing I struggle with is whether that also requires selflessness. My recent experience is that selflessness in the workplace is a minefield. First, it's not very likely to happen - it's just the nature of companies, especially large ones. Second, I must acknowledge that I sometimes have expectations hiding behind my actions. They may be as simple as looking for a smile, but expectations nonetheless. That doesn't make my decision/activity wrong; it just exposes that I had some expectations. It's the missed expectations that led to my disappointment.

Ultimately, I feel good about what I did and my reasons for doing it. I would make the same choice again, looking out for any expectations I have. It also means that being selfless does not mean sacrificing myself. So, maintain my integrity, do what I believe right, and watch out for personal risks.

Who I Work With is a Choice

Since leaving Amazon, I have been recharging and considering what I want to take on next and with whom. I followed a similar process in 2013 when I last looked for my next opportunity. Then, I gathered a list of the top 10 companies I respected and focused my search on those. I needed to align my principles with the companies that aligned with them. This led me to also form a list of companies that didn't align with my principles and exclude them from my search. As a result, I passed up some well-paying opportunities.

For instance, Amazon was on the list in 2013 because of my experience with no-hassle returns and Amazon Prime. Secondarily, it was the technology, tools, and innovation.

A lot has changed since 2013, including my prioritization of principles. For instance, after the 2016 election, I am paying more attention to politics. It's not a party affiliation but rather a candidate and their policies. It is a contradiction to say you support me as a transgender person and then support policies that limit my freedoms. It's also about the larger company culture concerning diversity, equity, inclusion, social impact, and corporate responsibility.

From what I hear and see, the job market is in a cycle where it's challenging to land a job. I can feel the tension between landing a job and standing by principles. It's a choice.

Ultimately, it's not a choice for me. I have not been happy when I have worked with less principled teams. I am the type of person who wants to wake up in the morning and is glad to be working with the company/team. That does not mean it's easy or there are no challenges. But it does allow me to be myself, be comfortable asking for help, know that I will get help, and pay it forward by helping others.

Two Things to Avoid - Politics and Religion

I was having a discussion with a peer today and this topic came up - only a couple hours later that I realized that it did.

They say two topics to avoid at work politics and religion. Taking religion out of this discussion lets talk politics - team politics.

Power Struggles. Favoritism and Bias. Toxic Work Environments. 

I wish I had a formula for dealing with or avoiding work politics. I don't. I think I do the next best thing - model what it looks like to work with respect, empathy, and communication. In short - integrity.

We hung up the phone agreeing that work politics suck.